Fat Princess

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Fat Princess


Feed that princess!

Privileged beta experience

If you're a PlayStation 3 owner then you've no doubt been eagerly anticipating the release of Titan Studios' multiplayer action game, Fat Princess. While I'd like to say the wait is almost over, I really shouldn't be making stuff up, as there's still no official release date. Fortunately, quite a few lucky son-of-a-guns got into the beta, and one of those was me. My time with the game has been quite sweet. There are lots of glitches and plenty of lag, but it's all forgivable because this is still an unfinished build.

You wouldn't think the prettiest game on the PS3 would be a downloadable game, but Fat Princess proves that it's possible. It's super colorful and oozing with style. It's extremely cute, too, with all the little knights and wizards running about with their short little arms and legs. I almost feel bad killing them. Almost. The game is not only an artistic marvel, though, it's also quite impressive technically, with smooth edges and great-looking water and textures. There was a lot of slowdown, lag and glitches, though, such as people running through walls and jumping frames. This is, of course, an early build, and if you're a beta tester then you're familiar with the beta forum.

Play with your twiddly knobs

The menus are very silly, with single player being titled “Play with yourself” and options being titled “Twiddly Knobs”. It's confusing when you first begin, but once you discover what everything means it's just as easy to navigate as any other game. Something I was not aware of is that the game has a character customization page. It's not much, but you can change skin colors, eye colors, voice types, hair and beards. It would be nice to be able to edit clothing and/or faces, but what's there is good, and unlockable features give you incentive to play.

Fun to play

But onto the gameplay: Fat Princess is a lot of fun. As mentioned earlier, I did encounter lots of bugs and glitches, but it's an early build, and I'm willing to forgive and forget. You know the basic goal, of course: feed the enemy princess cake to make her fat and hard to carry while attempting to capture your own princess. I found both modes available in the beta fun (Deathmatch and Capture the Princess), but I felt as though Capture the Princess went on for a little too long. It's not just about getting your princess back first: to win you have to have both princesses. It's fun to play, and to look at, but it certainly wasn't as good as Deathmatch.

Deathmatch is, of course, about killing. Each team has a number of lives, and the team's goal is to reduce the other team's number to zero by killing them. You might think that a game like Fat Princess isn't really appropriate for Deathmatch, but the lock-on system makes it easy enough to hit your target, but not too unfair. You hold L1 to lock onto your target and square to attack. You can hold square for a special charged attack that is, of course, more powerful. It's up to you to decide if you want to take it slow and strong or fast and weak, but both methods are effective, and the classes are balanced well enough that the game is always frantic and fun.