Deus Ex: Human Revolution
“If you want to make enemies, try to change something.” How apt. After the first previews for this game came out, the response was immediate. “Cover system? No hiding in shadows? Regenerating health?! OMFG, they’re turning Deus Ex into a shooter!” Fanboys are touchy, especially with changes to a beloved formula. It becomes even worse when you’re creating a sequel to arguably the greatest game of all time.
Nothing could be further from the truth. I got a sneak-peek of the game before the big show-off later on, and it’s only added to my anticipation. I love everything going on, and the possibilities for exploration and improvisation are endless. This is not just a shooter. This is a decision maker, just like Deus Ex. Except cooler, with better graphics, superb character animation, and orange.
Walking the streets of the lower city of Shanghai, searching for a man named Tong while Versalife adverts buzz overhead, a gravelly-voiced trenchcoated man in sunglasses picks up a box that turns transparent and sneaks into a military base… this doesn’t get more Ion Stormy. The streets alone offer many opportunities for exploration, chat and mischief, let alone the Hive Nightclub Adam Jensen finds himself in. I’m going to watching this one very closely. You should too.
Kinect & Move
Stationed in a small area together were Kinect, Move and Def Jam Rapstar, a Bermuda Triangle for Dignity. I’m only going to write a short piece on each, mostly because I had to keep on walking away to stop myself laughing in front of the poor PR people.
Dance Central may be potentially quite fun, but no one is going to spend $150 to make themselves look like a twat in front of friends and family… as the three people with absolutely no rhythm or synchronization who attempted to dance to Poker Face found out. And the sub-par Wii knock-offs Rare were touting were even worse. On the plus side it seemed to work okay.
Move on the other hand had a decent selection of games, worked perfectly, and now the Wii’s a big success story surely an imitator couldn’t embarrass anyone, right? Wrong. For starters, it does look like a big dildo. This I knew about, but what I didn’t know was that the stupid ball-thing on the end glows, and very brightly too. That’s bad enough, but then the ball changes colour! Constantly!
Start playing a game on console. Imagine the gamepad you’re holding has a bright glowing light at the top and regularly shifts through the entire rainbow. Now imagine that the pad is actually a big black penis-like object and the shining multi-colour-changing bit is the huge swollen bell-end. Distracting, no?
The Move could’ve been okay… but seriously Sony, did it have to change colour all the time?!