The Guild 2: Pirates of the High Seas

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The Guild 2: Pirates of the High Seas review
Marcus Mulkins


Nothing romantic about these pirates

Joys of courting (cont.)

Ah. The price we pay for love! It should be noted here that even female characters must go chase down a spouse. Apparently the entire community thinks it is a bad investment to waste time Courting any of your (up to 3) characters. So you MUST go to them.

Once you marry, your spouse is added to your player-controlled group of characters. If you have children (a product of the household action “Spend the night together”), once they get to be 16, you can add ONE of them to the group. The maximum number of characters that you can directly control is three. If you have more than one child, then additions to the group can only happen after somebody has been kicked off the team – permanently. (I’m guessing that this limit was placed just so a player could not eventually emplace relatives on every seat of the Council.) Within the group, only those that have actual skills within a given guild may actually go into a family-owned business and perform production tasks. This most often means that within the first generation, the first spouse gets to stay at home and Train up his or her attributes. (Children’s attributes are a product of averaging the attributes of the two parents and dividing by 2. I’m guessing, but that’s what it looks like.)

Politics in the game is best described as “tedious.” And “expensive”. And if someone up the chain simply does not like your family, you can forget about moving up until they leave office. That’s because the primary method of gaining favor is through Bribes. But if an official hates you, they won’t even accept your Bribes. (Or worse, accept the Bribe and still vote against you.) No favor at all means you can’t curry favor, and that means that that official will vote against your advancement at every turn. And by the time you’ve attended 4 Council meetings, you will have heard every dialogue choice in the game, and thereafter, every meeting plays like a worn out record.

Sounds like fun doesn’t it? (There’s that sarcasm again.)

Um? Excuse Me?

What do you think of when you read the word “pirate”? Me, I think ships, cannons, boarding ships, sacking towns, that sort of thing. So when I see the title, Guild 2, Pirates of the High Seas, I think, “Oh, goody! Now we can terrorize ships at sea!” However, the people at 4HEAD seem to have a different concept of what it is a pirate does: “The pirate makes a living by raiding and plundering ships and trading posts and by offering the salacious services of pirate wenches.”
Say what? That sounds more like a pimp than a pirate! Your initial business structure is a Pirate Haven, in which – unlike every other business – you can perform NO commercially beneficial task. Unlike the Fisher Shack, it does NOT come with a ship, initially; you have to purchase that separately for even more money (2,250) than you spent on the building (1,500). The only other thing the building does is it gives you someplace to hire your employees: Pirate Wenches. What can you do with them in a building that has no commercial tasks available? 1) “Assign to salacious services: Send out one of your ladies to turn the heads of passing men. Lonely? Why not approach one of the damsels in low-cut dresses for a little friendly conversation?” 2) “Distract city guards: Generally, men like women to think that they are strong-minded and unfaltering. But take a single woman who shows a little more skin than the rest of them, and every man in sight will lose his mind instantaneously. You can easily make use of this fact by sending your ladies after the city guards.” I’m guessing that what the second function does is that it pins any city guards in place within the ladies’ “zone of control” while you are busy burglarizing a home or business nearby. But either function means that your character is MUCH more of a pimp than a pirate. Which means that the game’s title is actually quite misleading.

Mousing around

One of the VERY annoying quirks of the game involves mouse-clicking. The first, most common problem is when you’re directing units to different locations in and around the community. The fast way of doing so is to use a map which has icons for buildings, items of special interest, landmarks, and dots for your characters and employees. Trying to indicate where a person or cart should go gets confused as you try to position the cursor over the desired hotspot. The map icons get so tight, the program refuses to accept a click if there’s a possibility that you may have wanted a slightly different location. It can take twenty mouse clicks before you get lucky and click on the precise pixel you need. And all the while, the clock is ticking.


fun score

No Pros and Cons at this time