Donkey Kong?

OPINION

Nintendo have been abusing one of their most important characters, the one who first introduced us to Mario (as Jumpman): Donkey Kong. What could be done to give Mr. Kong the appreciation that he deserves?

February 6th, 2009 by Al Warwick

I could easily make a case to sue Nintendo for animal abuse. Abusing a gorilla, that is. The same one that essentially got Nintendo's big start into gaming, along with a fellow named "Jumpman". So, this ape, humorously named Donkey Kong, has had a long history with the Big N. I could tell you all this, yet I wouldn't be surprised if you wondered why this important character is nowhere to be found these days. I'd agree with that person. Where is he, anyways?

I'd like to track back to the end of the 1990's. Donkey Kong was at his height. The DKC games were still a hit, adding another installment with DK's 3-D adventure Donkey Kong 64 on the N64. Then, it all went downhill when Rare, the main developer behind the DK series, was sold to Microsoft. From then on, we got games like DK: Jungle Beat, which make old-school DK fans sick.

Then, let's go back to the year 2008. The Wii has seen very little of DK. His only appearance was on DK Barrel Blast, easily one of the most dreadful Wii games ever created. It is simply a disgrace to the series, but at this point, the series can't get much worse. The time of the great DK games has been over for almost a decade.

I think it's time for a change. We need to see more of DK and less of his crap. We need to see what we used to play, not what developers think we'll play (in which they are completely wrong, by the way). No more bongos, no more swinging on little knobs and, please lord, no more racing with barrels strapped to monkeys' thighs. What we need is a revolution and it's so simple, a monkey could pull it off.

First, bring back some of the old DK games. Don't pull it off like the recent Diddy Kong Racing. It was an uninspired remake of a great game, thus making it a bad game. A guess who made it? Rare. Rare can do a better job. We all know it. Personally, the best first step would to remake Donkey Kong 64 on the DS. Rare can still make portable Nintendo games, just not console ones. While I'd rather see a Wii Donkey Kong platformer, the DS is our only option.

And, not a remake either. There is a lot of options for a sequel. The DS does offer as much, if not more, of what the N64 offered when DK64 was released. Can you say "Donkey Kong 128"?

Next, grab a new developer to make DK console titles. Namco sorta screwed up the series as it is. I'd say use the team that made the King of Swing games, but that'll probably only get us 3-D swinging titles and we don't need that. Maybe a team that has had a good run with Nintendo consoles. I don't know many offhand, but guys like Retro Studios or Intelligent Systems could get the job done.

Finally, change his image. Lately, we've seen a dark side of the Kong. The DK we know from the 1990's with that big cheeky smile and robust fur and funny looking tie needs to be brought back. We don't need some sort of hell-bent gorilla from Planet of the Apes.

Nintendo, if you are reading this, listen. If you aren't, start. The franchise is a lost cause, but you can help it find it's way. Please, no more Barrel Blast. I beg you.