Better Late Than Dead
Review
Or is it?
by Ben Petchey
reviewed on PC
Better dead than late
I awaken on a desolate beach, seemingly alone. Pretty standard mysterious island arrangement. There’s a loud, peaking sound penetrating my ear drums. I look down and realise the horrendous sound is coming from a body bag. Never has a swarm of flies been so loud. Audibly wounded, I grab the rolling mangos and water bottle off the ground and venture forth.
At this point, I’m already getting a little peckish; a fresh body bag mango goes down nicely. Things are going well so far. But I can’t run for more than five seconds without having to rest for minutes until my stamina replenishes – someone’s been slacking at the gym.
W-what was that? I just ate – it can’t be my stomach. There it is again! My ears were once again irked with a sound so loud it could deafen you in an instant. Suddenly – out of nowhere – a wolf bounds towards me, snarling about 5 decibels louder than everything else around me. Defenseless and now death, with only a water bottle to hand, I dart towards some promising looking buildings ahead. Some weird music starts playing out of thin air, but I’ve got more pressing issues to deal with right now for it to matter!
But dead anyway
The wolf gets a few chomps in at my heels whilst I struggle for breath. I try to turn and fight the beast with my bare hands, only to find that I’m unable to do so – due to fear or something. I sprint into a scabby looking hut and there it is! The answer to all my problems, the Yin to my Yang – a rusty pipe! I scrabble to pick it up and strut out of the hut to face my nemesis with a new found confidence.
The game is truly on.
Dripping with sweat, still recovering from that desperate five second sprint to the hut, I face the behemoth. I manage to get the first hit in not giving the swine a chance to touc-
Oh. I’m dead.
Try again
Undeterred, I awake again, this time in a completely new place. Same body bag and rolling mangos though.
I spot a little settlement close by and head towards it. As I enter the area, some eerie tunes start playing – I’m alert. The intensity of the music soon loses its affect though and I continue in my bid to find a weapon – anything really. The music dips in and out when you go away and come back into an area. Odd. Who could be on this island playing tricks on me? I bet it’s another one of those pesky wolves!
Digging through yet another damp hut rewards me with a knife. Neat. I continue on through the little settlement. I don’t find much else other than some more body bags with their loud fly counterparts and two locked doors that require a key.
The sun is starting to set now, but I spot another settlement across the vast, still sea. Now armed with a knife and a larger ego, I decide to make one last trip before calling it a night. Crossing the water takes an age – the night is really drawing in now. As I enter the settlement, I’m struck with that music again – show yourself, coward!
I find two old chests, each have one “Old_Key” inside – not the most economical way to store keys. Outside I’m greeted with even more used body bags. Why are there so many dead people here? Where is everyone else? Why are keys being stored in such an inefficient manner? So many questions. So few answers. Ah well, at least I have a body bag mango to eat.
I figured those two Old_Keys were for the locked doors back across the water, so I head back just as the sun dips below the horizon. It’s dark now.
Fumbling around in the dark I try the key in the first door – nothing. Odd. I try the same key in the other door – nothing. I go back to the first door, and this time stand very still while trying the key. Success! All that effort is wasted however, when all I find is another knife and a bit of old rag.
Try again tomorrow
Agitated, I head to the other building, unlock the door whilst standing very still, find some more old rag and toss my body into bed unamused with the day. 12 hours later, I drag myself out of the rotten bed I had festered in and leave the hut. Using a canteen I found, I refill at an oddly place water pump. Gulping down some – what I assume – is fresh water, I notice that I haven’t eaten for almost a day now. I unzip my backpack, and to my horror, realise that all the body bag mangos have been spent.
Well there’s only one thing for it! Today I go on and adventure to find more body bag mang-
Oh.
I’m dead.
3.0
fun score
Pros
Nice looking world
Cons
Lack of any story or gameplay, Constant performance issues, Unbalanced sound effects, Ridiculous stamina system Empty world
