My Ultima Adventure

Tremmel is a strange place. When I first came to this land a man on a horse kept chanting to me "Akuma Nastra" and then he dropped a mace. Was this a message? Does he defecate weaponry? Who knows, it is a strange place indeed.

Confusion was starting to set in, where was I? Surprisingly there were a lot of people around me. I spent my first half an hour collecting dropped items, I knew that this bounty would bring me wealth. My first moments of Ultima and I was becoming Alan Sugar of Ultima. I was a winner in this world.

A man clad in a robe told me to follow him and because I am not one to miss an adventure and a good time I did. He led me to a bear and said "attack that and I will give 2k". I was intrigued, what was 2k? Why was this man leading bear matches? I hadn't time to answer. I was stabbing at this bear with force and died, very quickly indeed. The man simply laughed.

This game – in one hour of play – has taught me many things; wealth is to be found on the floor, do not follow men into the wild and do not bother bears… a few lessons learnt the hard way. With this knowledge I can now go on and live my life as a hardy adventurer, ready to take on suggestion able men and bears.

And that was my first experiences with Ultima, very intriguing and enjoyable indeed. Hopefully I will go on and continue and with the wealth of people around I am sure to be lead to more bear matches and wealth speckled flooring.

Ultima Online is a confusing place, a place which seems not to suffer fools gladly. I found this out as I repeatedly asked why I couldn’t equip my mace and someone pointed out to me that what I was indeed trying to equip was not a mace but actually a small fish. It was an honest mistake. Sure I swore and cursed the game, but did the man really have to call me a noob and tell me to get out of town before my 'young' status ran out? I think not.

So where did I leave off? Oh yes, a man led me into the woods and made me fight a bear, that classic tale of chivalry and foolhardy. Well my experiences in Ultima Online sent me reeling a little. I was confused as to my objectives within the game. When asking people all I got was the sort of vague and slightly Sarah Connor style answer "The world is what we make". So I opted out of this second confusion and went on the internet to look for clues, not unlike a virtual Sherlock Holmes.

The thing to note with Ultima Online is that it is a very old game and it becomes really quite difficult to distinguish which guides are relevant. After many searches I found one which seemed to understand my woes and plights and nudged me in the right direction.

I started again; I was now a sword wielding, wrestling, lumberjack, carpenter. Yes you heard it, all the ingredients for a mighty fine adventurer. Well not exactly but apparently in Ultima Online you shouldn't even think of venturing outside without at least acquiring 5000 gold and gearing up. I was off for a stroll in the woods… again.

It had been a good hour and I wasn’t cutting any trees. I had successfully managed to equip my hatchet but the trees weren’t toppling like films suggest they should do. What did I need? A red chequered shirt? A helpful song? It turns out I needed to double click my hatchet then click the tree when a target appeared, every single time I wanted to chop wood.

Four hours and 500 logs later I was ready to start my journey as a carpenter. I made chairs, stools and all manner of boxes, was making a living for myself. My cutting tree now sported full living room furnishing, so I reclined on one of many chairs. I revelled in my accomplishment… that is until the bear match man came towards my creations. This man wasn't good news so I ran to the coast. When I returned my furniture was gone. I was broken.

After the bear man stole my things I wandered the earth like Kane trying to find answers. I was told Luna was the place to go and my word what a place it was; the screen filled with names of people, it was the Ultima equivalent of Las Vegas. I could make a life for myself here. I wandered the streets collecting debris as I went along, my new life as a street urchin was about to begin. Ultima Online is still confusing and scary, now I know there are thieves too.

Days in Luna were fraught with danger and excitement. Be it wandering around collecting up odd equipment left behind by encumbered travellers or entering and exiting the safety of the guard protection. I was a maverick, a rogue, a vagabond, I took anything I wanted and gave nothing back. It wouldn't be long until I ruled this place called Luna.

OK, I was hanging around a few streets collecting debris like a Womble but I was living life. I was meeting new people and getting invited into guilds. This wasn't for me however; I couldn't be tied down, it was time to move on, head east and see the world.

I ended up in a small town fittingly called Britain. This place was not unlike Britain itself, very grey, populated by beggar looking types and surrounded randomly with shipwrecks. I wandered around this place, taking in the atmosphere. If Luna was somewhere where I could dream of one day forcing my tyranny, I could surely hold dominion over this backwater red neck of a town?

A plan was quickly hatched and I headed for the castle. It was simple, I would kill the person in the occupier. Sure, they would at first see me as criminal but then they would bow down and proclaim in unison "you keep what you kill" and hail me as Emperor.

As it turns out, a small Hatchet and a silly Wizard Hat isn't enough to overthrow a king… I was killed within seconds and thought of as a criminal. What had I become? I was in existential angst after this defeat, the bear man stole from me so I intended to steal from the people of Britain, I needed to wander the land more and discover myself.

I had settled down in New Haven, my trip coming full circle. This chapter of my life is an ongoing pursuit rather than a small event. Asking around how to become a hardy adventurer, people told me to go chop wood until I was strong and brave, like most lumberjacks apparently are.

That is what I did. I have chopped down so many trees Ultima Online will now be awash with homeless squirrels. I raised my strength to seventy in a number of hours, I would arm wrestle with the toughest, and I could lift anything. I was now like the Hulk.

I now spend my days killing Skeletons and Zombies, needlessly, I will shuffle towards them swinging and cursing, chopping down all in my path. I am more paladin than Lumberjack Warrior. My days as a marauding beggar have come to a close, now I am more a fanatical Undead Zealot. Times are strange in Ultima. Makes a guy do crazy things.

I aim to continue to strike down these never ending armies of the dead. That is until my mind wanders and I wander with it.